Good manners-First of all, I must say that I did everything I do not recommend doing below.I know that it looks like a list of recommendations but these are mainly recommendations that I make to myself.These tips are for me, unless they also apply to you and in this case, they are for you.
I got my head first into my parenting role and it was with pleasure that I let him redefine myself as a person.One of the unexpected side effects: I see everything with my parent eyes now.Sometimes it's a good thing.For example, I no longer let the knives drag as much as before.Sometimes - and that's what I just understood - it can tire my friends without children.So that's what it is better to refrain from saying:
1.""""""""Dogs are not children""""""""
It gives this in general: """"""""Aah, you know what annoys me? When such a compare her dog to my kid.Or when such a talk about her dog and her child.Dogs are not children!They don't realize! """"""""
You know what?Unless these people need to go see a professional, I guarantee that they know that their dog is not a human child.They also know that this is incomparable.What they want to say basically is: """"""""Oh, but yes, me too there is something in my life that makes poop and that brings me a lot of happiness"""""""".
They only try to get closer to you who are constantly talking about your children.I know it is difficult to feel close to your friends when they have no children: before you were inseparable and now you see yourself from time to time to try to keep you posted but you no longer haveGrand-Chose in common.Of course, you were best friends but your lives are now very different.So when """"""""such"""""""" or """"""""such"""""""" talks about cleaning your carpet to remove your dog's droppings when you just said that you had to wash your hair to make your poop disappear there, be, beunderstanding.They just try to be nice.And you miss them.
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2.""""""""Do you think [insert what you want]? Try to have kids!""""""""
Tired, stressed, at the end, covered with urine, whatever.We, parents, too often use our problems to minimize those of non -parents.""""""""Oh, you worked 50 hours last week? Try to have kids!"""""""", """"""""Oh, you think you have a pain in the feet because you worked outside all day? I have run after mybaby during...Go ahead, put me a slap, I feel it itchs you """""""".
It is not a competition.If, on a scale of 1 (everything is fine) at 10 (you make a discomfort in the shower and you only take your minds once all the hot water exhausted), your friend is 7 and that you were9 The weeks following childbirth: whatever, your friend is still as expected.
PublicitéIt is not that your experience does nothing to conversation but instead of insinuating """"""""my pain is greater than yours"""""""", try rather to sympathize.Why not use your experience to help instead of minimizing.Try something like: """"""""wow, I understand that you are slammed.When I couldn't get anymore when my daughter was born I discovered that pouring coffee directly on my eyes was very effective.""""""""
3. """"""""T'en fais pas.You will see when you have children...""""""""
...Nose droppings will not disgust you anymore, you will know who the explorer is, you will be happy...Stop!We have to stop believing that everyone is going to have children.Some do not want it and make the choice not to make it.Some really want it and try with all their strength.
Telling these people that having children is the only way to rise to a higher level of existence is both extremely rude and derogatory. Je n'ai pas d'alternative à proposer, supprimez tout simplement les phrases qui commencent par """"""""Quand t'auras des enfants..."""""""".And then it gives the impression that we want to play big ones anyway.
4. """"""""Est-ce que je peux amener les enfants?""""""""
Unless you have already had a conversation on this subject with your friends that your cabbage ends were always welcome, set out that no, children are not invited.
Do not even ask the question.If we wanted to we would have invited them and we would have discussed the great activities that would be reserved for them.By asking for this, you are uncomfortable your friends who must decide whether they accept children or not.If this is not the case, they then know that they will have to provide a good explanation to justify their refusal.Don't do that to them, it's not nice.
5. """"""""Ma vie n'avait pas de sens avant que je n'aie des enfants !""""""""
Autant dire: """"""""Ma vie n'avait aucun sens avant que je n'ai des enfants"""""""" ou même """"""""Sans enfants, la vie n'a aucun sens"""""""".
I know this feeling.Sometimes I have the impression that all the concerns I could feel before I have my children were insignificant.I understand this desire to shout it on all the roofs.But don't do it.Your life may not be the same now but your life before your children was important and your children without children are part of it.Do not jump this passage as some jump the foreword from a book they really want to read. Ne pas prendre en compte """"""""l'avant enfant"""""""" c'est dire à vos amis que leur vie n'a pas commencé.
PublicitéFinally, if you have done or said one of the above things, no need to apologize.Put only one term.Excuse you would only worsen the situation. J'ai bien essayé mais le résultat n'a pas été très convaincant, c'était un peu du genre: """"""""Oh, mon pauvre petit chéri qui n'a pas d'enfants.I am sorry to have been carried away by the joy and the happiness of being a parent at the cost of our friendship.Please forgive me"""""""".
Forgiveness was not necessary.I hadn't injured anyone.I only tired them.Forgive would have been like forgiving a fly to land on you.So I promise to pay more attention to what I say and how I say it.I will try to be a friend more than a fly.When I say more than a fly, I mean I will not ask myself on my friends, I will not vomit them before trying to eat them.College is over, I no longer play that.
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Envoyer une correction Plus:cest-la-viecélibatairesconseilsconseils parentsenfantsJohn Kinnear
Author of Askyourdadblog.com
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